GIVEAWAY GIVEAWAY GIVEAWAY GIVEAWAY GIVEAWAY
* leave me a good joke on my blog, the person whose joke makes me laugh the most will win this comb
* international entrees are welcome
* one entry per person please
* in 10 days ( october 10 ) I will announce the winner and the joke for all of us to laugh at
* GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE
here goes nothin ' ;)
ReplyDeleteWhat did the old chimney say to the young chimney??
A. You're too young to smoke ;) tee hee
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.
ReplyDeleteHe hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.
Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
"Well... Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!"
hahaha....
Why weren't the worms allowed onto the ark in an apple,
ReplyDeletebecause all the animals had to go in pears!
haptree at yahoo dot com
I could tell a joke, but my English isn't so good. And if I would use goolge translator it make joke as serious talks and serious talk to joke - Estonian language is so hard, that Google can't translate it
ReplyDeleteBut greetings anyway :)
egateris at gmail dot com
What kind of tie does a woman buy for her boyfriend?
ReplyDeleteA 'beau' tie! :)
This joke was in the newspaper recently, and it was so cheesy it sent my friend off his rocker :P
Little John was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything - tutors, mentors, flashcards, special learning centres.
ReplyDeleteFinally, in the last ditch effort, they took John down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, John came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother hello. instead he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little John was hard at work.
His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner. to her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference.
Finally, John brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, his mom looked at it and to her great surprise, John got an "A" in math.
She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and asked, " Son, what was it?? Was it the nuns?"
John looked at her and shook her head.
"Well, then." she replied. "Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? What was it?"
John looked at her and said," Well on the first day of school when i saw the guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around."
I LOVE THIS JOKE!! XD
aikychien at yahoo dot com
A husband visited a marriage counsellor and said, " When we were first married, I would come home from the office and my wife would bring my slippers and out cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years, it's all different. When i come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."
ReplyDeleteSee how scary marriage is?
~Evelyn~
eggyc at hotmail dot com
Does Your Campground Have a BC?
ReplyDeleteThe story is told of a lady who was rather old-fashioned, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language. She and her husband were planning a week's vacation in Florida, so she wrote to a particular campground asking for a reservation.
She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but didn't quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn't bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter. After much deliberation, she finally came up with the old-fashioned term BATHROOM COMMODE. But when she wrote that down, she still thought she was being too forward. So she started all over again and rewrote the entire letter referring to the bathroom commode merely as the BC. "Does the campground have it's own BC?" is what she actually wrote.
Well, the campground owner wasn't old-fashioned at all, and when he got the letter, he just couldn't figure out what the woman was talking about. That BC business really stumped him.
After worrying about it for awhile, he showed the letter to several campers, but they couldn't imagine what the lady meant either. So the campground owner, finally coming to the conclusion that the lady must be asking about he local Baptist Church, sat down and wrote the following reply:
Dear Madam:
I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take pleasure in informing you that a BC is located nine miles north of the campground and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I admit it is quite a distance away, if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive early and stay late. It is such a beautiful facility and the acoustics are marvelous. Even the normal delivery sounds can be heard.
The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that right now a supper is planned to raise money to buy more seats.
I would like to say it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it surely is no lack of desire on my part. As we grow old, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in cold weather.
If you do decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you the first time you go, sit with you, and introduce you to all the other folks.
Remember, this is a friendly community.
Sincerely,
Campground Owner
Brooke Whitaker
whitsend@live.com
I know a looot of jokes, but it's so hard to choose just one !
ReplyDeleteOk, this one really happened. My husband has a way of sometimes mixing up words. We were on a walk, and there was a guy yelling about loudly at something:
My husband: "Look, a cry guying !"
After seeing the expression on my face, he corrected himself: "I mean, a guying cry !"
the_eternal_voyageur at rediffmail dot com
Who can jump higher than a tree? Bert or Ernie?
ReplyDeleteThey BOTH CAN, silly! Trees can't jump!!!!!
Okay...so that may have been my favorite joke of all time when I was around three, but it still cracks me up every time! HA!
Hope this isn't to risque' - But if I had to choose so far - Aik would be winning, That joke is just too funny!
ReplyDeleteHere's mine:
GHOST SEX
A professor at the University of West Virginia was giving a lecture on the
supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here
believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands. "Well, that's a
good start. "Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think
you have seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands. "That's really
good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. "Has anyone here ever talked
to a ghost?" About 15 students raise their hand. "Has anyone here ever
touched a ghost?" Three students raise their hands. "That's fantastic. Now
let me ask you one question further. "Have any of you ever made love to a
ghost?" Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand. The professor takes off his
glasses and says: "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture no one
has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up
here and tell us about your experience." The big redneck student replied
with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he
reached the front of the room, the professor Asks: "So, Bubba, tell us what
it's like to have sex with a ghost." Bubba replied: "Shiiiit!! From way back
there I thought you said "Goats"
Why don't blind people skydive?
ReplyDeleteIt would scare the dog!
VaBookworm87@gmail.com
Q: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
ReplyDeleteA: Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
artbyjan(at)googlemail(dot)com
Why should you not take a Pokemon into the bathroom with you?
ReplyDeletebecause it might Pikachu
tiramisu392 (at) yahoo.com
An old, old joke 'round these parts:
ReplyDelete"I say, am I heading the right direction?"
"Depends. Where you from?"
"I, sir, am from a place where we are taught not to end our sentences with prepositions."
"Awright. Where you from, jackass?"
***
How we all laugh. Or not. But while I can tell a funny story (really, check out my blog!) I don't know many jokes. But I want to enter the contest! Because that's clip's gorgeous.
carapacenator(at)gmail.com
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
ReplyDeleteHis friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”
The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
Does it have to be a joke or will a picture suffice?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?paged=43
Because that one had me crying.
Oh well, I'll leave a joke as well.
A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said,’Hey Koala! What are you doing?’
The koala said, ‘Smoking a joint, come up and have some.’
So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints.
After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was ‘dry’ and that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over too far and fell into the river.
A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side.
Then he asked the little lizard, ‘What’s the matter with you?’
The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala in the tree, smoking a joint, but got too stoned and fell into the river while taking a drink..
The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,
‘Hey you!’.
So the koala looked down at him and said,
‘Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude…
How much water did you drink!?’
Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Fred, looking out of the kitchen window.
ReplyDelete"I know," said his mother. "I've just stepped in a poodle!"
*******
haha!
tantanx29@gmail.com